Coming out….sort of

wpid-lgbt1

Coming out….sort of

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I never came out because I wanted to. I came out because I felt forced to.
A long time ago, I first came out to 2 of my best friends. It made it easier because one of them identified as Bisexual. The support was there. A little after, I came out to my new boyfriend. He was absolutely cool with it. Later on, some friends and I had discussed it a little bit but I never really said it. Another time, a friend of mine came to me saying that a friend had seen a picture of me and said I was Bi. I had never once met this friend but I confirmed for my friend that she was right. The support once again was thankfully there.
Then one day, I was hanging out with a young girl the night before her prom. We were cool for a while. I wasn’t going to be able to see her leave for prom so, I made the effort to hang out that night and grab some coffee. I always had my suspicions that she was lesbian. However, it was never my place to discuss that with others or out her. I came out to her that night as she came out to me. I did it in an effort to show her that I understood the fear that comes with speaking out about that. Needless to say, a while later she spilled this information to someone I considered like a sister. I told her this in confidence but I can see now that it didn’t matter.
I had always envisioned myself sharing this news with close friends at dinner over drinks one night while we were all gathered together. I thought it would be a good way for everyone to ask all the questions they had, if any, and it’d be over. It just simply didn’t happen like that. I confirmed for my friend that it was true. I never wanted friends to hear this from anyone else but myself.
I then decided to take matters into my own hands and sent all of my friends a text message explaining the situation and stating the facts. Thankfully, my friends all sent in text messages of support and they all felt they didn’t care where I placed my lips and we’d be friends regardless. It was a huge sigh of relief. Anyone romantically I’ve been involved with has also been cool with it. I had a success story I guess you could say. I think its because I took matters into my own hands.
The one person I always found myself wanting to come out to was my dad who raised me. For many years I found myself defending Gay people in conversation with him. I don’t know if I could ever say those words to him. I love our relationship as it is. He’s been so much to me for so long, a father by choice and not biologically.
I don’t understand the reason why people are so hung up over finding out whether someone is or not. What does that information do for anyone anyway?
What do my sexual preferences have to do with you or my interaction with you?
I’m not going to hit on everyone that walks just because I’m attracted to both sexes.
I’ve been in relationships with nothing but men. I just seem to enjoy them more. That’s my choice. I really think its only the business of those you are sexually or romantically involved with and those you CHOOSE to tell. It should never change your opinion of me or how you treat me. Its not me hiding who I am but its personal just like what I choose to do in the bedroom.
My whole point in this is,
If someone is Gay or Bisexual let them tell you if and when they are ready. Don’t treat them differently. Its that kind of attitude people have that discourages us greatly from coming out.  The world is mean to us. As much as time has gone by, that just hasn’t changed much. And I honestly don’t see it changing. There’s too many people that feel entitled to judge you or tell you who you should love or not love, what you should like and who you shouldn’t.
If you have a story like mine, or a story at all involving being Gay or Bisexual, just know you’re not alone. After one battle there will be another. It will always be that way. Just know, there is NOTHING wrong with you. No one will ever understand it fully, unless they are living as we are.
  – Tiger