Inside the Life of a Dominatrix by Jessica Pels

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Inside the Life of a Dominatrix

An intimate—and eye-opening—interview.

by JESSICA PELS and PHOTOGRAPHY BY KATHRYN WIRSING

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Seeing Mona Rogers on the street, you might assume she’s a ballerina. Her movements have grace and purpose, her energy is calm and collected. She’s immediately likable. And she’s a professional dominatrix.

In a candid interview, the 33-year-old New Yorker provides astounding insight into her fascinating, surprising, and misunderstood world. 

Marie Claire: How did you get your start in BDSM?
Mona Rogers: When I was about 24, going on 25, I was having a lot of pivotal moments in my life. I don’t know what the exact trigger was, but one day I was sitting in front of my computer and I was like, “I’m gonna look up BDSM,” and I did.

I had always been kinky, but I didn’t really understand that some of the stuff I had been doing could qualify as that. But it was kind of like everything that I read I just inherently understood. I have a dominant personality, and researching the BDSM situation helped me understand myself.

MC: Were you nervous at all, going in?
MR: There was definitely trial and error—when I first started, I thought I was gonna be very, like, kick in the door, “lick my boots,” this and that, and I was totally not like that. It’s part of why my clients liked me: I was real with them and there was something genuine about me.

I was also a little bit familiar because I’d been doing foot fetish for a little while, before BDSM. That’s how I actually got my foot in the door [laughs]. I mean, who doesn’t love getting your feet rubbed?  I was like “Oh, you’re gonna rub my feet for an hour and you’re gonna pay me? What?  That’s awesome!”

MC: What does foot fetish really entail though? 
MR: There are things like smothering with the feet, putting them all over their face. Kissing and licking your toes, sometimes shoe worship. Ball busting can fall under foot worship activities, so that’s, like, impact to the testicles, trampling, walking on the person. 

MC: Does it get sexual? Like…with orgasms?
MR: Oh no. If I’m touching your junk, it’s not going to be pleasant. Either I’m tying it up, putting clothes pins on it, piercing it, whatever, do you know what I mean?

MC: So even now, as a dominatrix—no sex? 
MR: No way. We’re mistresses—we should be unattainable things. They’re not here for their pleasure, they’re here for our pleasure. I know some mistresses who do, but it’s not one of the things I offer. That’s a hard limit for me. I always say, “Your dick, your problem.”

MC: Did anything really gross you out in the beginning? 
MR: In the beginning I wasn’t sure exactly what I was doing. There are certain things, like edge play—which is anything that kind of has a little bit more of a risk to it, like knife play, cutting, piercing, stuff like that—that took me a while to learn. I spent more time being mentored in those areas because it was kind of nerve-racking. But gross me out? I’m not into your bodily fluids…showers and things like that. No no no no. 

MC: What do you offer? What’s your “thing”?
MR: I’m all about sensations, so impact play, like spanking and flogging, things like that.  I love electrical. I’m into sensory deprivation—blindfolds and hoods and gags. I love bondage. Anything that is either, like, adding to your senses or is taking away your senses or is physically stimulating you in some way.  I’m an excellent spanker.

MC: What happens in a normal session?
MR: I like to start out with some sort of impact play, because that kind of gets the blood flowing. Then I’ll segue into a little bit of bondage and then add sensations over that. I like to work between pleasure and pain. They have this thing called a “vampire glove” that’s got little spikes, so I’ll brush with the rough and then come back over with something soft. If you have a blindfold on and you can’t see what’s going on, then all of a sudden you’re like,”Oh!” It’s really interesting. I like to make you ride the roller coaster.

MC: Is there a safe word?
MR: “Mercy” is the default safe word…but, my personal safe word is “ice cream,” because everyone screams for ice cream.

MC: How long does a session last?
MR: I would say my average session is anywhere between an hour and three hours.

MC: Three hours?!
MR: It all kind of depends on what their needs and wants are. Some people are very, like, “I just want that brush with it, real quick, just to make me feel something exciting or help me blow off some steam,” and then other people are like, “Create an experience for me.” 

MC: So how do your clients find you?
MR: I have a website, and there are specific places you can advertise. But I see only who I want to see. I’m super selective—if I don’t like the way you email me or the way you address me, or if I’m on the phone with you and I don’t like your tone of voice, I’ll be like, “Sorry, not interested,thanks.”

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